july 21st: official john mayer day…

Well, it is time.

He is probably around somewhere in SLC already….but tonight, he will be at the USANA.   Where coincidentally, Sara and I will be, also. 

Mmmmhmmmm.  Lay it on me, Johnny. 

Can hardly wait to hear those sweet tunes.

I did a lot of fun things this weekend; saw “Mama Mia!” (AMAZING, btw), spent Saturday at Seven Peaks (have my first sunburn…my shoulders are purple!), and had dinner with friends yesterday…but for some reason I am still feeling a little melancholy. 

Friday night I had dinner with a few buddies for the Man-Friend’s birthday.  It was great to see them and meet their girlfriends, as it had been quite some time since we had all been together.  I love birthdays at least for the sake of having reunions.  The Man-Friend paid for my dinner, claiming that I was his “date” (which we all know was only because the other two guys were there with dates, and he was feeling a little left out)…I at first resisted because it was his birthday, but then…fine.  Pay for my meal.  Even if we aren’t really on a date.  GO FOR IT.  So, dinner and the company of good friends was enjoyable…and of course I had made sure that I looked amazing.  Stunning, actually.  I really didn’t know when I was going to see him again, so I had to make sure I left him with a lovely lasting memory.   And seeing as how I have looked like crap every other time I have seen him this summer, I figured a little effort on my behalf wasn’t a bad idea.  But saying goodbye was difficult…for him it was just for the night, but for me it was sort of for…a much longer period of time.  Although I did remember that I will likely see him at our friend’s reception in a few weeks, he leaves on August 14th and I don’t anticipate he will contact me before then.  Seeing as how I am the one that contacts him 95% of the time, and even though he always calls me back right away, routinely expresses how much he enjoys our time, is profusely grateful for our friendship, and consistently clarifies the depth of our friendship when we DO see one another…it’s usually me that obviously cares enough to actually do anything to get that started.  “I was just thinking about you yesterday…” Really? Maybe you should have called me, then. 

But it’s not his fault, this is just the way things are.  It seems to me that a lot of the things in life he is experiencing right now I have already been through a time or two, and he needs to be able to work through that process just like anyone else.  And when all is said and done, I am simply not important enough in his life.  Fair enough.  I have been there, too.  I get it.  Nobody’s to blame, but myself for investing the hope.  I know he thinks about me, I know he considers the things I suggest, but he thinks FAR more about other things.  Our priorities are in different places and that never makes for a healthy mutual relationship.

I need to quit missing him.

Let me put it this way: I will enjoy seeing or talking to him again, someday.  But on the chance that happens, it won’t be because I am the one making that phone call…

And that is why I have no idea when I will see him again.

I may be an optimist, but I am also a realist.

I feel as if a part of my life should be coming to a close, and yet I have no closure.  This makes it a little difficult to handle this process.  I am positive this won’t be so bad when he is hours away again at school, but in the meantime, I most surely need to focus on detaching myself from these memories I have.  Because at this point that is ALL I truly have with him: memories.  Nothing real, nothing tangible…just a faint dream of when things were good and a flicker of hope that someday this could be better.

another fill-up gone bad…

I am testing my mileage again, after doing some small improvements to the Subaru.

Filled up a nearly empty tank this morning.

13.54 gallons (14 gallon tank)

$4.15/gallon

$56.19 to fill-up.  This will last me approx 370 miles (mostly high-way driving)

This time last year, it cost me about $32.00 to do the same thing.

I can’t wait to stop commuting.  It pains me in more than one way when I have to fill my tank, and then drive the dirty 25 miles to work 5 days out of the week.   I have been driving 65-68 mph vs. my previous usuals of  between 68 and 74 mph the entire highway stretch to work (65 being the SPEED LIMIT, I should add) while being passed consistently by others who either a) don’t care about the environment or b) could care less about how much MORE they are spending on fuel by going 15 miles, sometimes 20 miles over the speed limit.  Ridiculous.  But I have been using less fuel at this throttled-back rate…so to all the suckers driving the F350’s at 85 mph, I hope you make enough to feed your children AND fuel your vehicle.

Sustainability is most certainly the answer.  We as a nation, as an economy, and as people need to learn how to rely less upon our fuel needs and become less-selfishly minded with our usage.

food for thought: we DO have options for medical care…

…we simply need to invest the time and effort into developing a more well-rounded and economically influenced program.  Obviously change can not come overnight, but it needs to be initiated. 

Health care is far more expensive then it ought to be…the Europeans seem to have the idea right by lowering those costs from within. 

NPR featured this story today:

Paramedic Gerard Kuil (left) and family doctor Pascale Paques

Sarah Spivack/NPR

Paramedic Gerard Kuil (left) and family doctor Pascale Paques are part of a team that provides routine, round-the-clock care for patients in Amsterdam. In their Audi A4, they visit patients at home — providing a cheaper alternative for non-life-threatening emergencies.
The United States spends on average $6,402 per person annually on medical care. The Netherlands spends far less that than, while providing coverage for all residents. Compare the systems.
 

Paques injects an elderly patient with medicine.
Sarah Spivack/NPR

In a low-income neighborhood of Amsterdam, Paques injects an elderly patient with medicine. The man is bedridden and unable to go to a clinic.

 

 

Morning Edition, July 17, 2008 · In the United States, the growing number of uninsured Americans means more people do not have a family doctor or primary care provider. When they suffer a worrisome accident or problem, they may end up in the nearest hospital emergency room.

In fact, costs to hospital ERs have been growing over the past decade and ERs nationwide have had to close their doors or limit their hours as a result of out of control, burdensome costs.

Estimates vary but health officials suggest that as many as half of all hospital ER visits are non-urgent, meaning those patients could be treated effectively in a doctor’s office or health clinic. But often, people don’t have that choice. They don’t have a doctor, and there is no health clinic nearby.

In the Netherlands, all citizens have access to 24/7 primary healthcare. The system is organized much like a health maintenance organization, so patients are required to get approval from their primary care provider before they can see a specialist or go to the hospital.

The Group Nieuw-West (New West), a clinic in a low income neighborhood in Amsterdam, is a good example of this 24/7 availability. It opens at 6 p.m., when most doctors’ offices close for the day, and provides care throughout the night until doctors offices open the next morning.

On a recent evening at 6 p.m., things at the clinic were already beginning to bustle. A couple of doctors were gulping down dinner, a paramedic checked his medical bag for supplies, and Lita Van den Burg was beginning to field phone calls. Van den Burg is a physician’s assistant trained to figure out when patients can stay home and when they need to come in to the clinic. She offers a variety of advice, such as ointments for rashes, what to expect with an ankle strain or whether a fever is serious or not.

Sometimes she’ll tell patients to come into the clinic. On this night, patients were treated by Dr. Nora Bartelsman, a family practitioner on duty about three times a month. “Who do I see?” Bartelsman says, “I see children with fevers, back aches, skin rashes, infected eyes, bladder infections, anything. With the more serious situations, we’ll visit patients in their homes.”

Just as Bartelsman is describing the process of house calls, the clinic gets a call from the son of an elderly, bedridden man who can’t come in to the clinic. Bartelsman’s colleague, Dr. Pascale Paques heads out the door with her partner, paramedic Gerard Kuil. “The son can’t judge the situation,” Paques tells us. “So we just have to go and have a look at what’s going on.”

They drive around in what looks like a half ambulance, half taxi. It’s an Audi A4 painted bright yellow and blue, with a siren stashed inside that can be put on top of the car. They have some medical gear but not a lot. En route to the elderly man’s home, a call about another patient comes in and Kuil writes down the address. Soon they arrive at their first stop.

Ushered in, Paques and Kuil head up a steep narrow staircase in a typically small Dutch home. At the top of the stairs, they find two tiny bedrooms with twin beds. A frail man lies in a sort of fetal position in one of the rooms. The son stands a few feet away, wringing his hands. He explains to the doctor that his father is 91 years old and unusually listless. He won’t get out of bed, not even to help his elderly wife, whom he usually cares for.

As Paques begins the exam, she feels the man’s forehead and his swollen legs, takes his blood pressure and gently taps on his abdomen. Although the man’s calves and face are severely swollen, Paques decides this is not heart failure and gives him an injection to relieve the fluid build up. Then she hands the son a prescription for more diuretics, telling him to check in with the doctors in the morning.

The second patient lives with his wife in an assisted living facility. It’s bright and clean, particularly compared with the first house. This patient is also elderly, but he’s up and about. The man describes abdominal pain that has now subsided. Paques decides to do an exam anyway, and gives him a clean bill of health. Meanwhile, a third call has come in, and Paques and Kuil head to the home of a terminally ill man with prostate cancer who’s vomiting and can’t seem to stop. The vomiting is a symptom of chemotherapy. Paques gives the patient’s a prescription for anti-nausea medication. There’s not much more she can do.

Back at the New West Clinic, Paques enters her notes about each patient’s treatment into their electronic medical records. Just like their family physicians, she has access to all the information about these three patients and can pass along what happened this evening. It’s a seamless communication system.

Paques is about to settle in and maybe even have some dinner when she gets a call about another patient. An elderly diabetic woman is disoriented and dizzy. The patient’s son is on the phone, and Paques knows this could be a serious situation. She nearly runs to the car, and arrives at the home within 10 minutes. The patient’s son, Rudolph Heemeijer, is amazed at how quickly she got there “I was still hanging on the phone; there was a miscommunication with the operator,” Heemeijer says “I was waiting for an answer on if the doctor was to come, and then the doctor was here and I was still hanging on the phone!”

This is longest visit of the evening so far. Paques examines the patient and talks with her as well as with her husband and two sons. After deciding the woman must go to the hospital, Paques calls an ambulance and leaves the son in charge.

Of the six patients she’s seen tonight, this is the only one she admits to the hospital. “I do think house calls are very good to have, because several people are quite ill and unable to come with their own transport to the GP or hospital,” Paques says. “I can still manage to keep them at home; it’s a more comfortable situation for the patient than in the hospital. And it’s a lot less costly for the health care system.

“The cost of an ambulance is already very high and, once you’re in a hospital, you have to do a certain amount of tests which we don’t do,” she says. “Very often you can keep people at home especially if they’re very ill, terminally ill. It’s much more patient friendly and better for your budget.”

Meanwhile, back at the clinic, Bartelsman has seen about 30 patients. Clinic visits are still a lot cheaper than going to the hospital.

“Anxiousness is always a good reason to see someone,” Bartelsman says. “If parents are worried about a sick child, we let them come. If they have symptoms that haven’t been going away, we let them come. If they have things that we think need to be seen — especially on Friday evening — it’s a long wait until their doctor’s are back again on Monday, so we’d rather see them now than wait till Monday to see their own doctor when they could have been treated much earlier.”

Across the Netherlands, there are about 120 after-hours clinics like New West. And more than 90 percent of the Dutch population has access to them.

Radio story produced by Sarah Spivack

living car free…

When sharing about my intentions to sell my sweet lil’ Subaru and purchase a VW Vanagon, I have been received with some defensive questions, raised eyebrows and a lot of laughter. 

The laughter I don’t mind :)  But everyone should know that yes, indeed…this is in fact an intelligent move for me to make. 

As a part of the lifestyle changes I have been making lately, I have decided that once I move to St. George,  I will no longer be depending upon my vehicle as a means of survival.  Currently (and for the past 6 years) that has been inevitable, seeing as how I have always needed to commute quite a distance for work.   In short though, my life has been richly blessed by having such a fantastic vehicle that has time and time again provided the means for late night discussions with friends, moving friends (and myself), acting as the activities committee closet, rescuing a few dogs here and there, existing as my home/office-on-wheels, transporting friends to/from the airport, transporting sneaky kids playing pranks, road trips, snow boarding trips, road trips home, all sorts of adventuring….you name it, Loretta Berenstein has done it (yes, my car’s name is Loretta Berenstein…long story). 

But now, it is coming time to live differently.  She has served me well, but soon we will bid our adieus and move on to other cars/families. 

There are two major reasons I am moving on without dear, sweet Loretta:

1) Emotional ties:  I have been living my life in a manner during the past six years that has allowed me to accomplish a lot…but within a very refined and boxed in setting.  This is my own fault.  I have learned that I am pretty good at a few things…but only a few things.  I need to expand my horizons and become a better person.  As a part of the move,  I will be removing myself from the lifestyle I have established here, and embarking in a new area that I hope will be accompanied by more unsurety, less stability and new adventures.  I need to be challenged to make new and unfamiliar decisions, and be faced with a little more adversity.  Getting a “new” vehicle that is not as dependable will force me to learn to be my own simple mechanic, rely less on my vehicle and take advantage of other opportunities.

2) Sustainability:  Subarus are fantastic cars.  Probably one of the top three lines on the market in my opinion (right after Nissan and Toyota).  I love mine, and if I were a rich little girl I would buy a newer one every 7 years.  They are efficient, have very high safety ratings, and prove to be increasingly versatile.  Mine, however…is getting a little old (sssshhhhh…don’t tell her I said that!).  Not an OLD sort of old, just the sort where she needs more TLC to become more efficient again…she is topping out at 22 MPGs right now, which is significantly less than the 30 MPGs she was running at when I first purchased her five years ago.  So, I will let someone else give her the love…and I will buy an old Vanagon to drive once a week or so, and ride my bikes the rest of the time.  I will save more money on fuel, insurance, repairs, etc.  I look forward to that…I can’t stand the thought of thinking my Subaru would be sitting in my driveway 25 days out of the month, costing me more money by just sitting there.  But a vanagon sitting there…now, that’s not so bad.  I don’t think they should be running everyday, anyway.  Besides, in a few years, I can do a Subaru conversion on the vanagon and have the best of both worlds :)

I found this article today by chance, in regards to living “car-free”…a fella has written an entire book about it.  He stresses the increased quality of life, environmental, and financial benefits that come from living in this manner, so if no one believes me about this being a reasonable decision for me, take a gander and check out his reasoning in addition to my own :) 

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25609661/?GT1=43001

one week!

John Mayer.  One week from today.  Me.  Sara.  Amazing times ahead.  

In tribute, here is the recent live acoustic performance of, “Neon.”